Saturday, August 05, 2006

The promised "amusing post": three short-answers to three fun scholarship questions

A little over a week ago, I applied for a scholarship from the OP Loftbed organization. The application consisted of answering three questions, each in 120 words or less. The instructions specifically stated that the questions must be answered in a fun and exciting manner. While I won't know the results of the scholarship for another two weeks, I do believe that my answers were rather fun and unique, to say the least. Take a look below:

Q: Imagine that you have just found out that you have 24 hours left to live. Tell us what you plan to do in your last day on earth. (Answer must be between 80 and 120 words.)

A: If I had only 24 hours left to live on Earth, I'd surely put them to good use. For the first three hours I'd lament over my sad and undeserved fate. For the next nine hours I'd jealously curse at all my enemies and random acquaintances, who would now outlive me. I would then realize that half of my allotted 24 hours were gone, and would lament over that for a while, too. With two minutes to spare, I'd suddenly realize how wastefully I spent both this day and the most of the other days of my life. Enlightened, I'd nostalgically watch my last sunset, and hope that in my next reincarnation I’d live a tiny bit wiser. Carpe Diem!

Q: Describe the best practical joke that you have ever pulled on someone or that someone else has pulled on you. (Answer must be between 80 and 120 words.)

A: A friend of mine, a biology major, had the habit of writing his reports by hand before typing them onto a computer. Once, when he still had a page to type, he left the room. Seizing the moment, I secretly added two dozen biology terms to his word-processor's Autocorrect database, so that those terms would automatically be replaced with other random words as he typed. When my friend got back to mindlessly typing his handwritten report, his very scientific paper on the Competitive Inhibition of Catecholase suddenly became saturated with references to pirates, ninjas, and unicorns. The ensuing expression of utter bewilderment was priceless! I retyped the page for him, and he submitted it within minutes of the deadline.

Q: Imagine that you have your own OP Loftbed in your dorm or bedroom. Tell us how it improves your life. (Answer must be between 80 and 120 words.)

A: An OP Loftbed would truly revolutionize my college life. First, I would have to build the Loftbed -- meaning that I would have to enlist the help and tools of my new roommates, and thus get to know them better. Once my Loftbed was built, my room would become a hangout/study place for my new friends, as the Loftbed would exponentially increase the otherwise-crammed dorm space. The Loftbed would also serve as a makeshift elevated stage for my guitar playing, making me popular with my residence hall. And, my loftbed would undoubtedly be appreciated by God, who'd be flattered by my efforts to build a structure that would bring me closer to Heaven (remember the Tower of Babel?)

Well?.. What say thou, most honored reader? (ie: feel free to comment)


Anonymous said...

There are no words. That prank was beautiful, by the way. Inspired. I approve.

Anonymous said...

I imagine you playing ultimate frisbee with your last 24 hours! ^_^

And that's an awsome prank! Once I was feeling like an idiot, so I went into my autocorrect and replaced "the" with "the amazing". I totally forgot about it, and a week or so later I went to write a paper. I think it was titled "The Amazing Scarlet Letter". ^_^

Luckily I caught it in time.

Anonymous said...

Haha omg that prank is horrible but at the same time really funny. I give you props. lol I have to agree with tracy.. i dont think i know them but i still agree about you playing frisbee with your last hours and then writing a song on your guitar about it. Your answer was funny though.
Tae Cherie

Dom said...

I'll tell you what say I, o honored writer. I'll comment on your blog if you comment on mine (I know it's not fair, since yours is autobiographical and mine is a surrealistic mess, but life is not fair) I tell you what, here is a freebie comment: Don't you worry that the scholarship people won't be impressed with your plans for your last day? I mean, sure you implicitly reveal insight to human nature, but if I were grading essays, I would give the scholarship to someone who actually listed some unique and inspiring activities... but that's just me.